i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Randomize
