I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
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