that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
