I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
