sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize