So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Randomize
