Soap is not a condiment
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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