You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
