The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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