she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize