And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Randomize
