Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Randomize
