If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Randomize