I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
