I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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