suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
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