I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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