CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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