Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
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