Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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