i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
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