Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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