Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
nutella sex= disaster
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
The chlamydia really affected his face.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize