I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize
