Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
