Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
