just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Randomize
