Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
