all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
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