Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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