I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
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