one word: firstdatebathroomanal
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
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