its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize
