his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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