it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Randomize
