Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Randomize
