Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
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