Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
