what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
