Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
