your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I would fuck him just for his dog
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
