He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
