I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
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