I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
