Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
