this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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