We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
