the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Randomize
