can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
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