But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Randomize
