you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
