This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Randomize
