love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
I just gift wrapped bread.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize