also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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