I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
 go to hell.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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