'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
I think your dad took our porno
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
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