Her vagina should come with caution tape.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
