the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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