I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
