My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize
