it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
